Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Lessons Learned

My husband said I could only keep one of the puppies. But he also said right afterwords "I want you to do what ever makes you the happiest." Now isn't that just the sweetest thing a man can say to a woman? Of course I knew that loosely translated into " I don't want any more dogs! But if it will make you happy, I will be okay with one more or both if you must." Yes, I love my husband dearly, more and more I start to realize he loves me too.

Once we knew Asa was pregnant I said I wanted a white or black puppy. It didn't matter which one. I never really thought she'd have one or even both. But now I was faced with having to choose between my fur-babies.

I didn't have to worry about the female. Sakura had a wonderful family I knew that in my heart. I was not concerned for her in the least bit. But the boys... I couldn't disrespect my husbands wishes willfully by keeping both. So I needed to decide which one I wanted to keep and which one I needed a family for.

There it is again. The REAL question of which one? The black one nick named Ah Choo that we almost lost. Or the adorable white one that seemed to be the alpha of the group. My husband is more likely to be more accepting of the white one. But he also said “You should take your time choosing one and give yourself a chance to get to know both of there personalities before deciding.” Great advice, but there I fell into getting attached to both puppies opposed to one. Why must I always wear my heart on my sleeve, as my mother would say?

In the process of trying to decide which pup we would keep. My husband had helped me pick more suitable names for the two males. The white one became known as “Kiba” which means White fang. The black one... well he grew out of being back and became sesame with a black tip tail.. it actually looked like he dipped his tail in black paint. I named him Koda after the baby bear in the Disney's Brother Bear. Because he looked like a bear cub.

My husband had come to accept that we were keeping both Kiba and Koda. But the thing was the more I came to expect to keep both puppies the more I understood that I couldn't keep either puppies.

All the while I was seeking new families for Kiba and Koda, Disa a German Shepard foster I had adopted out three years ago was returned to me. She was in a terrible state.. It had appeared that she was neglected and possibly used as a bait dog. Now not only did I have four shiba inu's, a Great Pyrenees, an American Bull Dog but a German Shepard as well. My husband hated Disa, he hated her from the first week she was in our house and not only nearly killed our cat but also destroyed our brand new home costing us hundreds of dollars in repairs. But now she was back and I cringed knowing of his displeasure. He had been so understanding and patient with me, this was pushing my limits too far.. But I couldn't turn her away when she needed me most. If I didn't take her in she would end up in a kill shelter and they would euthanize her with just the suspicion that she was “viscous”.

Thankfully my husband loves me and trust my judgments he accepted Disa into the family,I think he may have even warmed up to her. I was able to rehabilitate her fairly easily. I trained her in basic obedience and began service dog training when I got a surprising call from an elderly couple seeking a guard dog / companion dog for the misses. After talking with the Mr. and Misses for several days we agreed for them to come (across states) and meet with Disa. It was a perfect fit and thankfully Disa (who is now called “Visa” has a wonderful happy home.

The whole experience has made me understand that Disa or the puppies won't be the last dogs that I will come across that need my help. I have come to understand that I am not here as a keeper. I was not ever intended on raising specific breeds or having just one family dog. I have come to believe that what ever Divine power is out there, I was put here to be a helper. As far as Kiba and Koda... They too have found wonderful families.

In the beginning I struggled with knowing which puppy to keep. Knowing how my husband felt about us having too many dogs already and yet still taking on one more that he despised. I was awaken to the reality of the matter and come to understand that not only am I one lucky woman to have such a loving understand husband, but that my idea's of raising a specific breed and limiting myself to self-imposed expectations were unrealistic. I am a helper not a keeper. I will never turn away the needy and because of that I can not tax myself or my family with idealism. 

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